11-4-2016 The day i was diagnosed….

Do you remember the day you were diagnosed?
Perhaps you were scared, felt alone and surely you
had tons of questions. Write a letter to yourself for
the day you were diagnosed, knowing all you do
now.

Wow. the 1st time i was diagnosed in 2007 the doctor said it looks like psoriasis but this wasnt formal as he took a biopsy to check. i had a lot of job issues then and went through a few jobs before finally landing at the dressbarns home office in July 2009. at this point i went to see another doctor, as i thought i needed another opinion. i mean this should be gone right? I mean its a rash.
I asked the doctor just this and she said, “The other doctor said it looked like Psoriasis and i agree with that” now what came next i heard as “YOU WILL NEVER BE CLEAR!” but that wasn’t her it was my brain translating and what not. i walked out and googled. yep image search (please dont do this) at that point i felt ill, i cried, my life had been changed forever. Every woman that i ever held hands with always told me how soft my hands were. now they will always be like sandpaper, cut cracked, bleeding. Then again the next day trying to shampoo my hair, shampoo has alcohol and ammonia in it and scents etc. Imagine taking a razor blade running it thru your palm 6 or 8 times 1 or 2 times almost hitting the bone, then pouring gasoline on it. Thats what shampoo feels like in my hands. Yes i cried again. I wouldn’t wish this disease on my worst enemy.

I must now add that this is also the best thing thats happened in my life. I have met many other advocates, and we have become like a second family. I look forward to events that they will be there, we catch up on all kinds of events and share tips tricks that we have learned. I have become friends with members of Novartis/Janssen/LEO Pharmaceuticals so far. They learn from us better ways to treat/and help their patients. I mean who better to tell you what this disease is all about? You think its a skin condition? You couldn’t be more wrong. Its psychological, painful, debilitating to say a few. Actually someone just took her own life because of this horrible disease just yesterday. YES, its that bad.

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