Being chronically ill is quite like being on a rollercoaster, One minute you feel great full of energy and the next weak and drained, it usually doesnt go the other way around for me. I dunno how about you?

Last year was quite rough as friends and family passed away, i guess thats what happens when you get into your 50’s, but seeing people much younger go isnt easy.

I was hoping for a better year this year. Unfortunately its not working out that way… The place i am renting is up for sale so i need to find a new place to live. On top of that i started working at dressbarn in July of 2009, we later formed the ascena retail group i was then supporting dressbarn, now i support all the brands dressbarn, maurices, catherines, lane bryant, ann taylor, etc. This year we sold maurices and a decision was made to close dressbarn for good. This was a gut wrenching feeling. We are halfway through and i have no energy, i just hurt my back not 1 not 2 but 3 times within a month. What did i do you ask? I was walking, i was washing my hair, i was getting dressed in the morning. Nuts.

You see, on memorial day weekend, Sunday, i went to look at an apartment, it was ok, a bit small, and there was something i didnt care for. It was 30 minutes to get there, but because of parades and other road closures it too over 2 hours to get home. (i also took 30 minutes to grab some groceries) When i got home i put away the groceries went in the livingroom, walked back into the kitchen and i felt something tear or pop in my back. The rest of sunday and all day monday i was on muscle relaxers and vaping so i could sleep and relax. Literally all i did was lie on my heating pad and sleep. Went to work tuesday and tried to stay off my feet a bit. I was okay for 2 weeks, then on thursday morning i felt something in my back and boom i was in pain again. This time more muscle relaxers more heating pad (i have a battery powered one for the office) lots of rest and i was feeling better. One week later on friday morning i get up im walking into the kitchen as i raised my right foot to take a step i felt a pop. Ouch, there it goes again. I stood there a couple minutes moving slowly to assess the damage. Hmm not bad, just a little sore ill be careful. 20-30 minutes later i am washing my hair and i feel a riiiiiiiiiiiip. I scream. This really hurt, OMG. More pills more CBD, more heating pad. Ok so now i made an appointment, i dont know what the doc will be able to do but damn. I AM SOOOO tired of this.

So…. I will see the doctor on friday and get the doctors opinion, i do NOT want another epidural they are pretty much worthless.

I am really hoping the second half of this year gets better. Pray for me?